You are a baby animal

Discussion in 'Textventures' started by Varkarrus, Feb 19, 2014.

  1. inverted L-block

    inverted L-block Chucklefuck

  2. Tesseract

    Tesseract Regrets Choices Thus Far

    stephen harper
  3. ectocal

    ectocal Hapster

  4. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Thunderforce Bloodhoof of Terror and Sound.
  5. ectocal

    ectocal Hapster

    I take mine back AH's is way better
  6. Moosebooze, Newborn Canadian Deity of Booze. Whatever that is.
  7. Triangle Man

    Triangle Man Cautiously Optimistic

    > Seconding AH's Suggestion._
  8. Varkarrus

    Varkarrus I have class

    Thirding AH's suggestion
  9. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    Moose-name Maplehoof. Is good name. Given by mother. Good name for calf. You think.

    Thing is dark but can smell smells all around. Can smell warm dark smell of mother and there is trees around. Grass drying in sun. And flowers. Is hot season now. Many moose calf do not survive cold season. Is ok. Have twin moose calf. Moose-name Harper. Smell her near. So mother is strong and eats well.

    You are young baby moose but are curious baby moose. So what. Do you do.
  10. Tesseract

    Tesseract Regrets Choices Thus Far

    ask mom to teach you how to lumberjack
  11. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Attack Harper and destroy her before she can destroy the great nation of Canadaland.
    /topical.

    Go check out these great woods. You're a frickin moose, nothing will touch you.
  12. Triangle Man

    Triangle Man Cautiously Optimistic

    >Oh please, AH, that story is just a bunch of hooey!

    ...Right?_
  13. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Nothing is hooey in Canadaland!

    Also: Start conquering parts of the forest one territory at time. I suggest starting with those squirrels, I don't like the way they're looking at you.
  14. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    You stand. Want to explore woods. "Do not stray too far, young one," says Mother. Nudge Harper. Harper does not want to go. Is mama's-calf. So you stand and go explore. Alone.

    Vision not good yet but you can smell things. Lots of smells. Smell small mammals nearby. Chittering. Annoying things. Want them to leave. You lower head and run over. Scare them away. But they are not afraid. They mock you. "Go back to your mom baby moose yes yes," they laugh. You are angry. You are bigger and stronger. "Your trees belong to moose," you grunt. "One day I will eat them all."

    Squirrels still not afraid. But Mother is calling you back. You do not disobey. You go back to Mother. Squirrels will pay for insolence. When you are grown.

    You settle next to Harper. "You are too big for your hooves," she says. You snort. You are tough moose even just a baby. Your mother is strong, respected cow. Harper does not understand the politics of the forest. One day you will be a strong cow like Mother. And eat well of the forest. For now you eat milk from Mother. Sweet and warm. Milk is nourishing and you feel stronger.

    Suddenly there is a noise away. Two-step footsteps. You do not know the animal. It makes mighty noise in the forest. What do you do?
  15. Tesseract

    Tesseract Regrets Choices Thus Far

    hide and spy on it
  16. ectocal

    ectocal Hapster

    DON'T GET COCKY
  17. Triangle Man

    Triangle Man Cautiously Optimistic

    >HIDE AND SPY! HIDE AND SPY!_

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