You are a baby animal

Discussion in 'Textventures' started by Varkarrus, Feb 19, 2014.

  1. Varkarrus

    Varkarrus I have class

    Creating this thread for inex who apparently cannot

    so yeah you're a baby animal or some shit go craycray
  2. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    ahem

    YOU ARE A BABY ANIMAL

    But what kind are you?
  3. ectocal

    ectocal Hapster

    monster truck

    The obvious answer, of course, is manatee
  4. Tesseract

    Tesseract Regrets Choices Thus Far

  5. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member B├╝rgermeister

  6. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    ((I mean damn I can't resist))

    YOU ARE A BABY MANATEE and you have just been born. Yay!! You weigh 65 pounds. The water is very warm. You are hungry. But also, you think you need to breathe! What do you do??
  7. Tesseract

    Tesseract Regrets Choices Thus Far

    ask your mother for some scuba gear
  8. cry like the little baby you are
  9. Varkarrus

    Varkarrus I have class

  10. inverted L-block

    inverted L-block Chucklefuck

    Man a tee-shirt shop.
  11. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    You squeak at your mama. Mama!! Mama is a very old manatee. She has had many babies. But you are her only baby right now. You love her.

    Mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Mama chirps back at you. Swim, silly baby! She pushes you up to the surface. It is not very far. You breathe in some air. Wow!!!! Air is very good!

    You float back down to mama. You are very hungry now. It is exhausting being born! You go drink some milk from the place behind her flipper. Mama has a scar on her back. You want to ask Mama why is there a scar on your back. But you are drinking milk. And mama is eating seaweed. But you are too young for seaweed. You are a baby manatee.

    The water is very warm. You are finished drinking milk. What do you do now?
  12. Tesseract

    Tesseract Regrets Choices Thus Far

    manatee things
  13. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member B├╝rgermeister

    Put on some sweet shades and leave to find your destiny, which probably involves fighting electrified aquatic nazi zombies.
    or lookin' at fishes.
  14. ectocal

    ectocal Hapster

    This is amazing.

    Find some friends to play with
  15. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    How silly!!! But you know only level 70 manatees can have shades, and you were just born!

    You want to find some friends. You swim away from mama. Dont swim too far says mama! I wont mama! You love mama. But she is too old to play with.

    You swim a little bit away. The water is not too deep. There is grass on the bottom and there is green stuff up on top but you are too young for eating it. Only milk for baby manatees! You do not think the grass and the green stuff could be better than milk. But mama likes to eat it. Where did mama get milk? Who was mamas mama?

    You swim a little farther. There are fishes here!! Hello fishes! I am a baby manatee you say! They are small fishes, very small and shiny. You think maybe they are baby fishes. You dont know if fishes have babies. But the fishes want to be your friend maybe? Hello fishes. I am baby manatee.

    The fishes are not listening to you chirp. They are not very good friends you think. How can you play with a fish. You look out a little farther and there is a turtle! It is such a pretty turtle and oh you want to be friends. But it is far away, far away from mama. You think maybe it is too far from mama. What do you do?
  16. Tesseract

    Tesseract Regrets Choices Thus Far

    check the manual for how to level up
  17. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    1 level is earned for every 20 lbs of vegetation eaten

    1 level is earned for every non-fatal encounter with a boat
  18. ectocal

    ectocal Hapster

    call out to the turtle
  19. Tesseract

    Tesseract Regrets Choices Thus Far

    eat all the vegetation in sight

    do not stop until you are the strongest manatee to ever live

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