The War on Woof: A Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Chatfic

Discussion in 'Textventures' started by NotAPumpkin, May 24, 2012.

  1. Triangle Man

    Triangle Man Cautiously Optimistic

  2. Swari

    Swari Beepy Lobster Man

    I pick c just to even it out
  3. atomic

    atomic ⓛ̸ⓘ҉̀͝ⓣ̸҉ⓔⓡ͜ⓐ̸ⓛ͞ⓛ͡͏ⓨ ͏͡͠ ̀

    i picked c when i registered
  4. NotAPumpkin

    NotAPumpkin Game maker and tie breaker

    Okay I'm going to post this before I realize that this was a terrible idea
    Also, rhyming schemes, what are those???? Ahahahaha

    C: Be Atomic.

    Several hours earlier (and several [hidden] levels drunker)....

    Oh hear ye, hear ye, for this ballad doth unfold,
    Of Atomic the beloved drunk and his tale of woe.

    'Twas on a night like many others in the Streets of Hidden Level
    Atomic, merry soul he was, passed many hours to revel.

    Undaunted by his lack of fellows,
    Atomic saw quite fit to bellow
    Rowdy ballads through the streets;
    silence there was not to keep.

    While sober (rarely), Atomic knew
    Of the feud between those two:
    AH, his old drinking friend,
    And B&dages, who sought AH's end.

    But having reached the bottom of many mugs,
    Tonight Atomic had forgotten the legions of thugs,
    That roamed the streets, along with wild hounds,
    Who wouldn't hesitate to put him six feet underground.

    As he wandered hither and yon,
    He found his luck was suddenly gone,
    As he turned a corner and came face to face
    With SWari the lobster-dog, trademark scowl in place.

    “What ho, officer?” slurred Atomic drunkenly,
    But it seemed as if SWari wouldn't let him walk free.
    “What are you doing out?” growled the lobster-dog,
    But Atomic shrugged, lost in alcohol's fog.

    His attention slid sideways past SWari's lobster claws
    To focus instead on the graffiti on the walls.
    “Haha, it says pants,” muttered Atomic, enthralled.
    SWari, however, was simply appalled.

    “You're coming downtown,” the officer barked.
    But arresting this drunk was no walk in the park;
    Atomic, you see, had mastered drunken fu--
    it was he who had taught AH all they knew.

    And so, with aplomb they began the scuffle,
    while nearby Kyriaki declared it a kerfuffle.
    The eagle took leave before the fight was decided,
    but it soon became clear that Atomic presided.

    With a carousing flourish his opponent was downed,
    Into an incredulous, lobster-ish mound.
    But SWari had a trick up his claw:
    Producing a whistle, he crammed it into his maw.

    The sound rang out shrilly, summoning dogs.
    They poured out of alleyways, rooftops, and chatlogs.
    Atomic stared into their rabies-filled jaws, and....

    And what?

    A) [strike]Ran[/strike] staggered like hell.

    B) Got ready to kick ass and chew bubblegum, but was all out of bubblegum.

    C) Asked them if they wanted to play poker.
  5. atomic

    atomic ⓛ̸ⓘ҉̀͝ⓣ̸҉ⓔⓡ͜ⓐ̸ⓛ͞ⓛ͡͏ⓨ ͏͡͠ ̀

  6. Triangle Man

    Triangle Man Cautiously Optimistic

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