The Transgender Thread

Discussion in 'Sodom' started by Blank_, May 21, 2016.

  1. NotAPumpkin

    NotAPumpkin Game maker and tie breaker

    Oh god, no, I don't think that. That would be so counterintuitive it's almost funny. You're spot on there, it's a whole differnet set of issues to deal with.

    I don't really have it in me to do a big post right now, and I regret making a big one up there; I haven't had the energy or drive to follow up on it right away because physically and mentally I'm in a weird drug-addled place.

    I'm have an attitude towards labels that incorperates both what I think about myself and what other people think about me, so unless it really doesn't jive with me I just take what comes my way. Gender's one of those things I guess? I'm neutral towards how I feel in my body, so fine, I'm a girl, whatever.

    And yeah society etc etc

    It's all so needlessly complicated
  2. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Haha honestly it's something I've always kind of wondered about myself too. When it comes to gender and even sexual orientation I usually just don't label it one way or the other and let people make up their own decisions, but I admit I always feel like I'm lying no matter what.
    If I call myself male I feel like I liar, if I say I'm female it doesn't feel honest, if I say I'm straight well that's not true, but if I say I'm gay I feel like I'm just trying to be part of that lifestyle. In the past year for the very first time in my life I've actually been forced to identify myself outloud and just settled on a bisexual female.
    To which I was accused of lying for I guess attention? Mostly because I refuse to prove myself one way or the other, which I guess will always be my downfall?

    Haha So I don't know, it's all a big old mess for me. I know gender and sexual orientation don't always go hand in hand but for me personally it's all part of the same conundrum.
  3. canoe

    canoe never odd or even

    Hey wow look at this! I am so happy we have this thread.

    For the most part I present as cis/het which I guess has made life very uncomplicated for me but I had a lot a LOT of gender dysphoria growing up. I did not identify as female at all and the thought of vaginas in general was pretty repulsive for a long time. My first serious relationship was with a gay boy, and it kind of opened up a new world for me? When I found out about the term genderqueer, it was like finally being able to take a deep breath. I don't know, as a whole I find labels to be pretty esoteric and abstract, but for whatever reason, that term was very freeing. How can you classify everyone in the world into just two categories, even moreso before you even meet them? How can you know that you're never going to fall in love with half the people in existence? Have you ever met a stranger? Do you realize how many things there are about humans to fall in love with? It just doesn't make any sense to me. But I've learned with time that despite how strongly I feel about those things, it's okay that other people don't feel the same way, as long as everyone is safe and happy pursuing what they need in life.

    If you guys have any positive or negative experiences with the medical community in regards to transitioning, being outside the gender binary or anything like that, I'd love to hear about them, if only to do the best I can for whatever patients I happen to have in the future.
    Blank_ likes this.
  4. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Canoe, my love, I didn't know you went through all that! Vaginas are super weird and I still panic a little when I end up interacting with one. I know it's a pretty straightforward process but they look so complicated compared to penises.
    I've never worked up the courage to talk to a doctor about any of my thoughts or feelings regarding gender and my own gender issues. I've had a hard enough time just trying to get contraceptives from pro-life doctors to ever feel comfortable enough to say "So I've kind of always wanted a dick, how would I go about something like that?"
  5. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole


    first off, see if planned parenthood will help you with the genders. They're much more progressive than the mainstream medical community. I got my first dose of hormones via informed consent through planned parenthood in California.
  6. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    I was a little worried the other night; I went to a party and was informed beforehand that one of the guests (who hadn't arrived yet) identified as "they".
    I was pretty hammered that night and super worried I would slip up but all went pretty well. And they had beautiful nails on.
    It was my first encounter in real life with someone who cared at all about their pronouns. Most people I know and hang out with wouldn't bat an eye about being referred to any which way, and as many of you know I'm not great at policing or censoring my language (having just found out that certain words are slurs, something I hadn't known before but will always refuse to apologize for).
    I dunno, I guess I get how they feel, but at the same time am always a bit uncomfortable around super sensitive people. Thank god you guys are so used to me and my obnoxious ways by now :p
    Blank_ likes this.
  7. NotAPumpkin

    NotAPumpkin Game maker and tie breaker

    I saw an incredibly beautiful person on the bus the other day...their androgyny was so mesmerizing, ahhh...

    Anyway, yeah I mean, hanging out with people who are picky about your word choices for any reason is always a bit tricky. I don't know, it's not really my area at all so I guess I try to avoid those situations haha...I'm also phenomenally unskilled at watching what I say and generally indiscriminate in throwing around "guy/girl/dude" etc. Watching people put their foot in their mouth and then backpedal furiously is so cringe-inducing...

    I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel about the whole thing to be honest. Mostly I just find over-sensitivity to be really annoying. Should I feel bad about that? I'd really rather people move towards gender being less rigid and defined and people not really caring about them than inventing new categories and getting uptight over them. But I don't really have anything to do with the whole thing so I don't know that it's my place to say.

    How does having opinions work
    Blank_ likes this.
  8. Cucurbita

    Cucurbita Filled with Candy

    Man, #relatable

    I mean, also, major uncool of them to fucking force you to label yourself and then accuse you of lying, that's fuckin, so clearly against the rules

    but yeah, relatable

    I've been tentatively experimenting with thinking of myself as not fully/more than just male for like, the last 1-2 years. I don't feel like refering to me as male is wrong wrong, but it's not an absolute either. I guess genderqueer is the term I would leans towards now, but it always feels like lying to myself a lil bit still. He/Him is still the pronouns I probably feels most comfortable with but that might be because of inexperience with other ones. Tbh if anyone here wanted to refer to me with her or them, that would be fine too. It might even be nice!

    I worry about transgressing into communities I don't belong in a lot too. I feel like parts of my internalized masculinity would fuck things up. That's really scary.

    I have been making strides forward tho, mostly thanks to my really awesome girlfriend. She lets me borrow her clothes and make up, and recently we went to an HM store and I bought my first dress! It basically just looks like a long black shirt tho, haha, but baby steps right? I even wore it to class today!

    I find it can be difficult to seperate gender from sex and sexuality too. Tbh I'm pretty happy with havin a dick, although sometimes I think to myself it would be awesome to also have boobs, because boobs are rad.
    Blank_ likes this.
  9. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    It's super awesome that your girlfriend is so supportive! And congrats on your dress purchase, that's always fun! I'm trying to stay in the mindset that you can just do and dress and act as you will without committing to certain labels, conforming to certain ideas or identifying in any specific way, but I admit it's super hard to do. I think part of me is afraid that if I roll those dice and come out full straight female I'll be left outside of the community that was so understanding when I would walk around a dude or date other girls.
    I know it sounds dumb because if my friends are really my friends what would they care, but at the same time I've heard all the complaints about bad allies and know my voice would be downgraded to that.

    Also I have a super shitty question and I'm sorry if it offends, but some may remember a while back that I took some screenshots of a game I was playing where I named the character "tranny" and laughed super hard at the dialogue results. Despite being a member of the lgbtq community and knowing people who have transitioned, I was complete unaware until told that this was an offensive term.
    I won't make excuses, since I stand by my earlier statements on censorship and giving words powers through making them taboo, but I admit that a lot of this was bolstered by the fact that the term tranny seemed to be embraced when I was in my major clubbing years, having trans events specifically using the term.
    So finally, my point, do you guys find the word taboo, off limits and completely offensive?
  10. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    For most AMAB trans people it is, simply because we're constantly fighting to be distinguished separately from drag queens and cross dressers
  11. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    That makes sense, I think my only offline friends that have transitioned were afab so I can see how they would have a different take on the same issue and find it less offensive.
    Thank you for your understanding response! I do apologize if I offended.
  12. Cucurbita

    Cucurbita Filled with Candy

    That sums it up quite neatly.

    On a simillar topic: Personally, I'm always a li'l bit uncomfortable with drag? It might be partially internalized transphobia, but also I find the spectacle of it a bit off putting. Like, I know that I would never want to be compared or equated with a drag queen, because my gender expression is not a performance, it's not for a show, entertainment, or really anyone but myself.

    Crossdressing I have less issue with, seeing as it's less about performance, and more another way of expressing yourself. Eh, I guess performance can also be mostly about expressing yourself, but there's something about the caricatureness of it that just rubs me the wrong way.

    I don't know exactly what my point is here, just wondering if anyone else has thoughts on the subject?
  13. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    I've actually always kind of liked Drag shows, but I think it probably helps that I grew up knowing that any expression of my gender is ALWAYS going to be assumed to be a performance and assumed to be for someone else.
    I wear heels? Well I must be going on a date! I wear any makeup? I'm trying to get some guy's attention! I wear a low cut top? I'm trying to distract others and flaunt that I'm easy.
    Since day one that everything a girl wears is for someone else, or someone else's benefit.

    Drag Queens have always had a special place in my heart. Not only because the ones I know are great people, but also because of the energy, the atmosphere and the fact that everyone is just having such a good time. Also the extremes they go to with makeup and outfits make me super happy, mostly because it feels like they're saying "Nobody is looking at WHAT I'm wearing, they're all looking at HOW I'm wearing it, and I'm wearing it fabulously because I've decided that's the way it is." I love love love that idea, that attitude. It helps fill me with a lot of confidence when I'm unsure, haha.

    But I do understand where you're coming from, I guess we're all shaped by our personal experiences.
  14. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    Hey kids. The USA just got fucking scary over night. Hope you're all holding up okay. If you need me, I'm just a pm away.
  15. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Indeed. I wish everyone the best :(
    You deserve a better president.
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  16. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

  17. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    Be the change you want to see in the comment section, kids
  18. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    That gun picture is actually very nicely set up. It's a sad idea, but a very well taken photo!

    I had a bit of a question, and I'm sorry again for my overall ignorance, but when do you stop identifying as trans? I guess what I mean is that after you've transitioned as far as you can comfortably go, do you stop identifying as a trans? Is there a beginning and end or is it always a lingering prefix?
  19. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    Nothing was set up about that photo. That's why it's a heart breaking picture.

    Being trans is an experience. You don't stop identifying as trans in the same way you don't stop identifying as a war veteran. Sure, you can go stealth for safety but that's still a trans experience and one that only hinges on being transgender. Tl;dr: once you go trans there's no going...blans
  20. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Whoa, that does make the photo super sad :(
    Also I never thought of it that way, thank you for the explanation!

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