The 500 [CHAT]s of Bandages

Discussion in 'Sodom' started by inexpediency, Mar 22, 2012.

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  1. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]


    In the beginning, Bandages didn't have five hundred [chat]s. He had only one [chat]. It was an old one that had belonged to his father and his father's father before him. It was probably the oldest and the plainest [chat] in the whole Internet, where Bandages lived. But Bandages liked it--especially because of the ghost boner that always pointed straight up in the air.

    The Internet was ruled by Almost Human. His palace stood high on the top of Booze Mountain. From his balcony, he looked down over the houses of all his subjects--first, over the spires of Sodom, across the broad roofs of Plop Culture, then over the little houses of the Basement, to the huts of the Another Basement.

    It was a mighty view and it made Almost Human feel mighty important.

    Far off in the fields, on the edge of a game in Another Basement, stood the thread of the Bandages family. From the small OP Bandages looked across the Another Basement to the Basement, then to Sodom and Plop Culture, up to the great towering palace of Almost Human.

    It was a mighty view, but it made Bandages feel mighty small.

    Just after sunrise one Saturday morning Bandages started for town. He felt very happy. A pleasant breeze whistled through the ghost boner in his [chat]. In his right hand he carried a basket of mad props to sell at the market. He was anxious to sell them quickly and bring the money back home to his collection of smileys.

    He walked faster and faster until he got to the gates of the town.

    The sound of empty bottles rang through the air. Paw prints clattered on the cobbled streets.

    "Clear the way! Clear the way! Make way for Almost Human!"

    All the people rushed for the sidewalks. They drove their carts right up over the curbstones. Bandages clutched his basket of mad props.

    Around the corner dashed fifty bartenders on yellow-robed swag wolves. Behind them on crimson-robed swag wolves came Almost Human's Own Guards.

    "[Chat]s off to Almost Human!" shouted the Captain of Almost Human's Own Guards.

    On came Almost Human's carriage--white and orange and orange. It rumbled like Bruce Willis through the narrow street.

    It swept past Bandages. Then suddenly its mighty brakes shrieked. It lurched--and then it stopped. The whole procession stood still.

    Bandages could hardly believe what he saw. Through the side window of the carriage, Almost Human himself was staring back--straight back at him! Bandages began to tremble.

    "Back up!" Almost Human commanded the Royal Coachman.

    The Royal Coachman shouted to the royal swag wolves. Almost Human's Own Guards shouted to their crimson-robed swag wolves. The bartenders shouted to their yellow-robed swag wolves. Very slowly the whole procession backed down the street, until Almost Human's carriage stopped right in front of Bandages.

    Almost Human leaned from his carriage window and fixed his eyes directly on Bandages. "Well...? Well...?" he demanded.

    Bandages shook with fright. "I ought to say something," he thought to himself. But he could think of nothing to say.

    "Well?" demanded Almost Human again. "Do you or do you not take off your [chat] before your Almost Human?"

    "Yes, indeed, Sire," answered Bandages, feeling greatly relieved. "I do take off my [chat] before my Almost Human."

    "Then take it off this very instant," commanded Almost Human more loudly than before.

    "But, Sire, my [chat] is off," answered Bandages.

    "Such impudence!" shouted Almost Human, shaking an angry bottle. "How dare you stand there and tell me your [chat] is off!"

    "I don't like to say you are wrong, Sire," said Bandages very politely, "but you see my [chat] is off." And he showed Almost Human the [chat] in his hand.

    "If that's your [chat] in your hand," demanded Almost Human, "what's that on your head?"

    "On my head?" gasped Bandages. There did seem to be something on his head. He reached up his hand and touched a [chat]!

    to be continuief..........FOR REAL
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2012
  2. inverted L-block

    inverted L-block Chucklefuck

    boom boom boom
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2012
  3. atomic

    atomic ⓛ̸ⓘ҉̀͝ⓣ̸҉ⓔⓡ͜ⓐ̸ⓛ͞ⓛ͡͏ⓨ ͏͡͠ ̀

  4. Bandages

    Bandages Dr. Stringz

  5. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    oh no

    I have to get up in six hours

    but I suddenly really wanna watch The Wall

    what do
  6. Varkarrus

    Varkarrus I have class

    RIP chatamari
  7. inverted L-block

    inverted L-block Chucklefuck

    Is it Wall time? am I going to have to go get my DVD?
  8. Captain Zaven

    Captain Zaven ribbed for her pleasure

    DAMMIT i was going to put a youtube link for the full movie because i literally watched it on youtube on saturday morning but they got to it ; o;

    instead i'll give you YOU GOT SERVED.

  9. Maydame

    Maydame (ノಥಿ ೪ಥ)ノ*:・゚✧

    basically the same

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2012
  10. illisid

    illisid Guest

    Man how come none o' you guys are boring ol' night owls like me?

    oh wait I'm not either, I just tend to come here when I don't want to / am avoiding sleep. Carry on.
  11. Captain Zaven

    Captain Zaven ribbed for her pleasure

    pshh, no way am i a boring night owl.

    i'm an EXCITING and FUN night owl.
  12. Draga

    Draga Cat Scratch Fever

    I love the smell of a new chat thread in the morning.

    Smells like socializing.
  13. catGenes

    catGenes Got a spooky feline

    Now to blow out a lightbulb and create another dark corner to lurk in. =3
  14. Triangle Man

    Triangle Man Cautiously Optimistic

    This serms like a nice new thread.

    Also, guess who got struck down by pestilence today?

    By which I mean nasty chest congestion?

  15. atomic

    atomic ⓛ̸ⓘ҉̀͝ⓣ̸҉ⓔⓡ͜ⓐ̸ⓛ͞ⓛ͡͏ⓨ ͏͡͠ ̀


    K̵̷̴͊̐̓̃ͩͤͦͤ̽̏̃̇ͤ̓͐͐̅͘ ͫ͒ͤ͑͆ͭ͑̎̀̔̈́̓̏̑̌͌̆̓̚͟I͗ͣ̒̇͋̈́͏͘ ̷̨ͭ̉̔͆ͫ́͜͝L͌ͥ̎́̅͌ͩ̑͌ͬͦ͊҉̡́͡ ̔̓̋ͤͧ̃͜Lͯ̇ͧ͂͛ͮͦͭ͂̅ͮͦͩ̔̚͟҉̡͢͞ ̶̡̛͑̂̒̉̉̈́ͫ͑̃͋̿̊̀̑̚͟͝M̷̍ͭ̊͛̋̍̈̓̆̋̍͆̑͐ͫ͐͑͢҉̀ ̸̊̐̂̏̈̏͑҉E̶ͧ̈́ͨ̔̍͂͒ͨ̎ͯ͂ͤ͛ͪͯ̐̚͢ ̧̋̑̃ͣ̃ͨ҉̨͜
  16. Varkarrus

    Varkarrus I have class

    Is that... master yi?
  17. No I believe it is the Splinter Cell goggles.

    Master Yi has like 7 eye holes on his goggles.
  18. DevilEd

    DevilEd Call me BellaDante

    Oh nice a new chat
  19. lovelyAssistant

    lovelyAssistant Made of language

    Any chat thread that starts off with a Doctor Seuss spoof is a wonderful chat in my books.
  20. catGenes

    catGenes Got a spooky feline

    I am looking forwards to maze-y shenanigans restarting, Atomic =3
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