Holy shit a new [CHAT] ???

Triangle Man

Ballparking Inner Peace
Honest Silvers
0
Hey everyone. Just wanted to let you know that this entire situation right now with the election is an absolute mess and I sincerely offer everyone best wishes and the best of luck. This entire past four years has been a nightmare that nobody deserves and we all deserve better than this.
 

Almost Human

Mightest of the Drunks
Bürgermeister
Honest Silvers
8
Status
Rhetorical
A bunch of my coworkers are in the States and it's been our number one topic and a source of incredible stress. I honestly can't believe it got as close as it did. Now our speculation is more about what kind of chaos he'll cause on his way out of the white house, if he'll be charged with any crimes commited during his presidency or if he'll be the first president ever to give himself a presidential pardon on the way out the door, seeing as how he's already started giving them to his co-conspirators, no doubt to keep them from speaking out against him.
 

ky

comfort eagle
Honest Silvers
0
hey y'all. been a wild couple of months. that said it's sunday night and i'm just chilling

grats to canoe on finally making it to the Winner's Decade! (as i am now calling our 30's)
 

Triangle Man

Ballparking Inner Peace
Honest Silvers
0
Hey, chilling is always good, no matter how far in the past it happened.

Also, with a name like that for your 30s, it kind of takes the edge off of the incoming existential dread.
 

Almost Human

Mightest of the Drunks
Bürgermeister
Honest Silvers
8
Status
Rhetorical
Bahaha I also enjoy that quite a bit!
Work is going super well but dang are my deadlines tight. Quarentine is super tough too, but i wanted to make sure I stopped in and reminded you all that I love you and you're not alone.
I have some PMs that I'm INSANLY late to reply to and I'm so sorry for that. I'm moving soon too so I'm going to try and find the time but I don't want anyone to feel ignored. Isolation is tough.
 

Triangle Man

Ballparking Inner Peace
Honest Silvers
0
Agreed.

And I feel that. Hitting the end of my current school term. The next few days are going to be brutal, but once I work past them it should almost be smooth sailing to the very end.

And no worries on being late on PMs in general - we're all probably busy anyways, and we're existing in a space where time doesn't exist anymore.
 

canoe

never odd or even
Honest Silvers
0
Hello friends!! Sorry for somehow peacing out through most of October and the entirety of November. My best guess is that I got seasonal depression? I don't think my life is particularly worse than the general dystopian setting everyone else is in, and yet all of a sudden I had low energy, low appetite and didn't want to do anything. It's okay though! I've been working on it and on Thanksgiving I took a lot of time to reflect on the people I was very thankful for and so now I am here to let you guys know I am thankful for all your friendships throughout the year and also this place for us to continue to meet at the various phases of our lives.

Also being congratulated by ky for making to the Winner's Decade makes me feel like an absolute champion
 

Almost Human

Mightest of the Drunks
Bürgermeister
Honest Silvers
8
Status
Rhetorical
Well.

One of my fears came to fruition yesterday.
I knew that the coming winter and the local missions/shelters being closed would make the addict population more desperate, and that my neighborhood was becoming more and more unsafe but yesterday, in broad daylight we had a violent break in. The apartment down the hall from me had a guy bust in demanding drugs from my young, female friend who lives there. Since I'm working from home I was out in the hall with my phone once I heard her screams but was too late to even see him (we think we know how he disappeared so quickly but due to an ongoing investigation I can't give too many details.
She's got a black eye and he escaped with her laptop, some of her university text books and a small bag of weed. Smart money says he was targeting our building but probably meant to rob the drug dealer in the middle apartment, or is being sheltered by him.
Yesterday was a clusterfuck of people in and out but I got her into my apartment and now she's staying with her best friend. Unfortunately I now have a bit of a target on my head for talking with the cops and my landlady telling the drug dealer he may be evicted because "the girls" were complaining and feeling unsafe.
It's only a month until I move to Montreal (I found a place) but we'll see if I can get out of here in one piece.
 

canoe

never odd or even
Honest Silvers
0
Oh my gosh that entire experience sounds terrifying. I'm always so amazed and impressed at your ability to be brave and selfless when confronted with dangerous situations.

I'm so happy to hear that you found a place in Montreal but please take extra precautions to be safe until then. I always have bear spray and a flashlight within close reach when I'm at home, look around your place to see what you can arm yourself with readily. I can buy you some bear spray if you'd like, I like it because it has pretty good range and is very strong, I think Amazon could ship it to you without too long of a delay. If someone's out for violence, then it is what it is, otherwise the more you can do to deter someone looking for an easy target the better.
How is your landlady? Can you talk to her about your concerns about staying safe? I know some landlords have been willing to install better locks on their properties after a break-in, but again depends on the landlord.

The overall state of the world makes a lot of people more desperate and sink to lower means, so while I sympathize with some of them, I want everyone here to be vigilant in maintaining their personal safety. Society encourages a lot of learned helplessness when it comes to addressing violence, but it is a real presence in the world even in the best of times so please look out for yourselves.
 

Almost Human

Mightest of the Drunks
Bürgermeister
Honest Silvers
8
Status
Rhetorical
Ha thanks but I didn't really do anything brave. I hesitated thinking I was just hearing things at first when the scuffle started when I should have been out there right away. I'm doing my best to make up for that mistake now though by making sure the target of the attack has a safe place to store her stuff and making sure she gets her rent and deposit back from the apartment.
My landlady is drunk and yesterday threw us (me and the target) under the bus with the suspected accomplice in the middle apartment by saying we were the ones complaining which is why he was getting an eviction warning so now I've got a big fat target on my head and someone has been suspiciously patrolling our halls and hanging out in the laundry room (across from my door) without doing laundry in the very wee hours of the morning.
Thank you for your offer but I'm pretty comfortable with my hammer by my side so I think I'll be okay. I just have to keep an ear open for anything suspicious at night and keep the chain on while I open the door.

And yeah I hear ya, I'm doing my best not to blame any one group and remain sympathetic to those in dire straits but I'm enraged that they violated our space and physically hurt someone who I promised I'd look out for after the meth head from the summer scared the wits out of her.

I'm trying really hard to stay levelheaded and just focus on getting myself out and her sorted. I'm keeping all our paperwork and resources sorted in case she has to go to court but I admit I almost lost it today when I coworker decided to tell me my opinion on someone I know personally is wrong (she lives in a different country and knows of them through reputation) and accused me of anti-feminist wrong think.
Heeeugh I think my brain is melting.
 

canoe

never odd or even
Honest Silvers
0
You wouldn't quite be you if you weren't diminishing your own efforts, but that's fine, you can't change my mind on how incredible I think you are. Society lulls us into complacency easily, I don't think my first instinct hearing a commotion would be to immediately investigate it either, and I've consistently lived in areas where gunshots and police sirens were common.

When are you moving? January? Stay vigilant until then and make sure you don't give them any openings to catch you off-guard. No one is going to look out for you except you. Politeness and giving people the benefit of the doubt go out the window, it's self-preservation time (but then again when it is not for you??).

What I've learned this year is that it is extremely easy to have strong opinions about something when it does not impact you at all. The less skin in the game you have, the more you can double down! You literally have nothing to lose, and all the ego to gain. Feminism seems like the hardest thing to get wrong (women have intrinsic value and agency! whoaaaaaa), and yet people get it wrong all the time. I've stopped trying to convince people about things, I have enough on my plate these days. You do what you need to do to get by.
 

Almost Human

Mightest of the Drunks
Bürgermeister
Honest Silvers
8
Status
Rhetorical
Yeah, and it's amazing that this co-worker knew what was going on and still decided that because I sided with a guy rather than a girl in some drama (I know both the female and male personally, the coworker knows neither) that I guess I...hate...women?
I don't think I'm exactly setting back women's rights by not always and unquestionably taking a woman's side in an fight which has nothing to do with gender or rights or anything anyway!

That said I'm mostly ranting about that to distract my brain from the fact that the intruder returned this weekend and tried to get into my place. The only thing that stopped them was the chain on the door. While this was undoubtedly just an attempted crime of opportunity (they were "helping" the drug dealer down the hall move) it is incredibly unsettling to know they have the means o unlocking the main lock on my door, and also apparently keys to the outside doors.
They didn't grab anything and I wasn't hurt, but I also couldn't do anything since I had no proof of the attempt and when I confronted the people in the hall they just denied it so all I could do was threaten them and then bar myself back in my place.
Sigh.
This whole mess makes me so sleepy.
 

canoe

never odd or even
Honest Silvers
0
I mean, it's an easy fallback if you don't really care about the issue and just want to be the moral winner. If you disagree with a woman, you hate women. If they're a POC, you're racist. If they're someone with a disability, you're ableist. If they're someone who's trans, you're transphobic. Etc. Etc. Awareness obviously has to start somewhere, so while we're here in the upswing, a lot of people are gonna overshoot it and get it wrong, and that's... I don't want to say okay, but probably just acknowledge it's going to happen on our path to true moderation. If you're at core someone who generally assesses individual human beings as what they are--individuals--then you don't need these categorical reminders to check for hidden prejudice or ignorance. Again, low energy reserves these days so pick your battles carefully.

Keep your chain on!! I definitely do whenever I'm home. Does this at least mean the drug dealer no longer lives down the hall? Please please please remain on high alert. Even if you had proof of the attempt or their open confession, what would anyone do? Would the police arrest them? Would your landlady change your locks? Probably not! I'm so serious and cynical about personal safety. At the end of the day, no one is going to look out for you other than you, so stay armed and vigilant. Make sure you're not an easy target and fight to the end (the end here being when you can move to Montreal)
 

Almost Human

Mightest of the Drunks
Bürgermeister
Honest Silvers
8
Status
Rhetorical
Ugh you're so right and you know what? She can have that moral victory if it makes her, I dunno, e-dick harder or whatever garbage they get out of these kinds of fights. I have my sweet Canoe who at least knows I do in fact love women and that's good enough for me! And honestly we're in such a weird place right now, you're right about it being this odd point where people absolutely will overshoot while we as a society grow more empathetic. I'm going to try to remember that the next time something like this inevitably happens. I hate to be labeled a bad person but I'm also not going to kiss someone's feet to get them to change their opinion of me if all it took was one "bad" opinion to make me a villain.

I'm sorry to make you worry! I am on full high alert these days, which I admit messes with my sleep but better safe than sorry. In addition to the chain I also push a large, heavy packed box against the door when i'm home so it would take quite a bit of effort to even get it to where the chain would catch. The guy down the hall seems to be gone, no one has seen him or heard from him in over a week and his phone was disconnected so it seems he may have just fled.
It makes sense if he did though, the threat of extra surveillance and knowing someone escalated to violence probably put quite the fear in him. I also imagine its pretty bad for business. I lived peacefully with him there for years though, I honestly think just the desperation of COVID and the onset of winter that set all this in motion. I've never been concerned about people coming in and out not matter their lot in life and if they'd knocked on my door and asked for some money, booze or food I honestly probably would have obliged. But he chose violence and violation and that boils my blood and I'm forced to step in. I hate that though, I don't want to be angry or the bad guy but I don't actually know what else to do in these kinds of situations. People say to just move and/or call the cops but I think they don't understand how quickly bad events happen. It's a flash and it's over.

Augh, sorry this close to the holidays I'm sure there are much better topics to discuss! Even if there's not I wish you all the best in this and the new year, and hope that 2021 is a bit easier on all of us.
 

Triangle Man

Ballparking Inner Peace
Honest Silvers
0
Well it's been a while again, because I'm very bad at replying to messages on forums with expediency anymore.

@Almost Human - Sorry to hear about the multiple break-ins at your apartment. It sounds like a downright stressful situation and I'm sorry you had to go through it. I've haven't been through that situation, but I have been confronted by highly aggressive panhandlers in the past. It can be a very scary situation and it can be very challenging to navigate it in the heat of the moment. Best wishes in moving out ASAP.

In terms of the call-out you recieved, I don't have too much more to add that Canoe hasn't already added. If there's a big lesson *I've* learned this year, it is that understanding why you're feeling the way you do at a given moment and acting to address those feelings via self-care or another means are both incredibly important.

Regardless, It's been a rough year for everyone, so I sincerely hope that everyone here is having a very Happy Holiday Season, and that 2021 is at least marginally better for everyone.
 

Captain Zaven

On a real candle kick lately
Honest Silvers
26
Well, i can say one thing for certain for myself. 2021 is going to be very different.
I graduated nursing school, and have accepted a job offer working for one of the largest hospital systems in the state of Michigan. I start in 2 weeks on a unit that has been recently converted into a COVID unit, but generally is a stroke unit. right now i'm looking for a place to rent that's a little bit closer, and also just to have my own place again. It's gonna be different, and i'm excited, and a little overwhelmed, but... i think this is a great opportunity for me to grow and like... kickstart my career.
Also, i just want to say that i love all of you here, and wish you all the best, and yeah, i hope i'm around here more next year. I know i said that earlier this year, but the school depression hit me hard. Now it'll be work depression, but i'm so much better at dealing with that!
 

canoe

never odd or even
Honest Silvers
0
Happy New Year everyone! In past years, I've always felt a bit blasé about the new year, but now it holds more meaning to me, a marker of the passing of time and proof that no matter how stuck we feel, the world quietly moves forward. Entropy persists and change is inevitable even if we feel we have no control.

Congratulations on finishing nursing school Zaven!! And double congratulations on getting a job!! I loved working in the hospital, even though I haven't been there since the pandemic started so the vibe is probably different, but I'm sure you're going to have a fulfilling time. You can also get a feel of what you like and if you want to eventually look into another setting, like outpatient or ICU or PACU or whatever. A very exciting time in your life and I am so happy and proud that all of your hard work and perseverance has gotten you here :)

Almond, I have endless love and respect for you and will fight anyone who tries to paint you in a bad light... but in this case, alleging that you of all people hate women is just so laughable and obviously false that I can't even get mad about it. You are never the bad guy in situations, just a victim of extremely bad company. Similarly, having boundaries does not make you a bad person. Willful harm towards others is an absolute no go in any setting and empathy/understanding/patience goes out the window in that situation. Police are there to protect property, not people. You are justified to do what you have to do to ensure your personal safety, which it seems like you have done. I hope since that guy has been gone, you've been able to catch up on some sleep and hopefully be closer to moving??

TriGuy, that's a good lesson that I think I had to learn recently too. Whenever I used to feel sluggish or just not good, my previous strategy was just push through it and distract myself with work, or fail to do the work and then get frustrated. Not great! These days I'm a bit more patient with myself and explore gentler ways to address how I feel or break the inertia. It's still a work in progress but I think ultimately for the better.

I love everyone here and am so glad despite all the time and hardships that have been ongoing that I still have this connection with you all! I know so far 2021 is not significantly different than 2020, but it's different enough, mainly in my perspective, so I feel a lot better going into this year.
 

Almost Human

Mightest of the Drunks
Bürgermeister
Honest Silvers
8
Status
Rhetorical
Happy New Year All!
I know I know, I'm late to the game but I only JUST got internet at my new place. There was this whole hubub getting it set up and after everything was sorted with that, and I was unpacked and all the new ikea furniture was built and my visiting mom left I just slept through two days.

Congrats Zav! And I agree with your opening sentiments, canoe, that pure stagnation is just impossible in this ever shifting world, which means we're also never truly stuck, even when it feels that way.
Not that my current fight against my own status quo has been easy; my god you guys the tales I could tell. I went door to door looking for a kidnapper, the movers put together my bed with cellophane tied in knots rather than screws, I moved from the province with the second highest COVID rates to the one with the first and just in time for a province wide curfew and all without a single drop of booze to calm my nerves.
Tonight though I'm catching up on work and indulging in a bottle of wine so of course I couldn't help but check in here too!

I also tend to just push through the bad bits which ends up exhausting me and uh, causing me to sleep for about two days! Bahaha. I have made no progress fixing this though.

I love you all as well! It's hard to say how all this will pan out but I hope you all know that this place will always be our little safe haven if you need a calm online space to just do or say whatever you need. I wish I could offer everyone a physical space the same way, but I may have to win the lotto a few times over to make that happen bahaha!
 
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