Discussion in 'Textventures' started by ectocal, Jul 16, 2011.
oops how come it took us two pages for someone to think of this :I
You tried that already!
You feel that a blow to the face may dampen your relationship with what you hope could be a new friend. Or perhaps she could be...more than a friend?
Although you have just met her, you go for the lips. Surely she feels the passion as well.
As you pucker up and lean forward, she puts her hand over your mouth. It seems she doesn't feel the passion after all. She is numb to the passion. Passion: unfelt by her.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"WAAHHH wah wah waahhhh WAAAHHHH wah wahhh wah"
"Please stop that." You oblige. The jazz coming from the speakers seems to be sufficient anyway.
"Well," she says, "it's pretty obvious you came in here to steal some of my stuff while I was sleeping. So what are we going to do about that?"
Damn, how did she know?
Bring out your smoothest pickup lines. Promptly apologize.
"the only thing i wanna steal...
is your heart baby."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stumble into your apartment. I must have gotten lost...in your eyes."
That is old news, baby. You can't look back at the past you just have to brazenly push forward.
>The lady knows too much, it's time to bring out the drop kick.
Batten down the hatchets and hatchet down the battens, baby, cuz out comes the smoothest of the smooth.
"Hey, are you...ah...um..."
You don't seem to remember any of your own pickup lines! Damn this amnesia! ENGAGE PANIC MODE!
"Oh, where are my manners?" Jenny says. "Do you want something to drink, Luke?"
DISENGAGE PANIC MODE! Drop kick maneuver successfully aborted!
Fifteen minutes pass
"So," says Jenny over some tea and biscuits, "tell me about yourself."
"I'd like to, but I don't remember much," you say, sipping your tea.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Anything I can do?"
(Since nobody's offering any suggestions, I'm assuming the command is ==>)
"Well, actually," you say, remembering a thing you need, "do you know where I can find a GRAPHICS CARD?"
"Oh. Want to help me find one?"
"Well, you're a strange man I met fifteen minutes ago and I am pretty sure you tried to rob me. So obviously I trust you completely."
Jenni Clark has joined your party! And, technically, you only tried to burgle her, and what's a little burglary among friends?
Go frolic in search of graphics card
examine her inventory
if you know what i mean.
And I think you know...
what I mean ;D
hey look, a reference to my obscure, now defunct forum adventure that was on another forum that you are one of the few people who probably would even understand
the hipster levels are just insanely high right now
Actually you don't. The entendre and the reference fly right over your head.
You check Jenni's inventory. She politely asks you to stay out of her purse. Man, can you go, like, maybe five minutes without trying to take her stuff?
Everybody loves a good frolic!
The two of you skip out into the hallway to begin your journey.
Oop. Right. There's a few more rooms on this floor and an elevator door. To where shall you frolic further?
take the elevator; check out what kind of sweet muzak this place has
take the elevator to the roof if possible
In case of fire, you're pretty much screwed, since there are no stairs.
You enter the elevator. It comfortably fits two.
The muzak is "Wake Up" by Arcade Fire. Classy.
It seems that the fourth floor (which you're currently on) is the top floor. Much like a stoner on a budget, this elevator doesn't go very high.
There are buttons for floors one through four and the basement level.
I love that song
head to the basement. make small talk on the way.
You push the button labeled "B" and begin to make small talk.
"So, nice weather?"
"I don't know, I haven't been outside."
An awkward silence falls upon you. Man, this elevator takes a long time to get anywhere.
"Hey," says Jenni, "I had an idea. If we split up, we can cover twice the amount of ground in half the time!"
"Um, wouldn't it be the same amount of ground in half the time?"
"Well, maybe. Yes. Shut up."
"Or twice as much ground in the same amount of time?"
"I don't know if that's a good idea," you say. "We might get lost."
"In an apartment building?"
"Maybe, I don't know. This place weirds me out."
"Is 'weird' a verb now?"
"It can be!"
"Wait, do you feel that?"
Both of you fall silent as you realize that the elevator has not been moving.
You press the button again, but nothing happens. Upon further inspection, it seems you need a ELEVATOR PASSCARD to get to the basement. All the other floors are up for grabs.
Which floor? And when you get there, do you split up or stick together?
Stick together and first floor because why not.
Rule #3: Stick together. You're pretty sure you're not in a horror movie but you don't want to take any chances.
You push the button for the first floor. The elevator finally starts to move. After a few seconds, the doors open with a pleasant-sounding *bing*.
You and Jenni step into a hallway nearly identical to the hallway on the third floor. You'd kind of expect the door to the apartment building (the one that leads outside) to be on this floor, but there isn't one. There are, however, doors to individual rooms.
"Hey," says Jenni, "do you smell that?"
Suddenly, three distinct aromas hit your nostrils: (1) freshly-baked pie, (2) unwashed stank, and (3) you have no idea what the hell the third one could possibly be.
It's pretty obvious that these smells are coming from inside different rooms. The combination of smells can only be described as unholy, and you pray to various gods to remove it from the face of the planet. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to you, it is the gods' game night, and they are all currently busy playing Sorry, poker, and beach volleyball to respond to your request.
make a fart joke, QUICK
then head for the pie room
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