Chatfics

Discussion in 'The Arts' started by Siranae, Jul 27, 2011.

  1. This is where you put your works of literature of the Chatfiction variety.

    Chatfics can also be found here:
    http://nixshadow.com/chatfic

    I heard about these so I decided to try my hand at it. I found this Egyptian Mythology fanfic on fanfiction.net and decided to change the names around and add a few things. What is posted here is the result. The title of the original, and my alteration, is "An Egyptian Adenture."

    I added a few things, but I tried to stay true to the original writer's style. Therefore, misspellings, bad punctuation, and general poor writing is to be expected.

    Okay so apparently it's too long for one post. I'll put in the next one...or two. This ended up being long than I thought it would be.

    Edit: Oh no, it's going to have to span three posts. I hope that's okay.

    If you have OCD I would seriously reconsider picking the lock.

    It was a warm summer's morning in Genchatia. Zaven and Almost Human were collecting fire wood to make breakfast, bread sweetened with honey. Zaven looked around and was pleased with what he saw, small children running around and playing, neighbours talking and his beloved parents sitting outside their mud brick house. His mother, Katt, was very beautiful, she had dark brown hair and sparkling green eyes, Zaven thought she was perfect in every way possible. His father, He said, fully erect, was very handsome, he had short, black hair and very charming dark blue eyes but how could Zaven even begin to describe Almost Human, his soul mate, to him he is pure ecstasy. His daydreaming was interrupted by the thunder of galloping horses. It was Queen Bandages's guard.
    "What are they doing so far away from Sodom?" Almost Human wondered inquisitively.
    "Yeah, aren't they meant to be with Queen Bandages?"Katt questioned rhetorically. Everyone gathered to see why they were here and the leader spoke first.
    "People of Genchatia! I am The Big Man, and we are members of the royal guard! We have travelled far and wide to find someone to help us! Your gracious Queen Bandages has been kidnapped! A note was left behind...with the seal of Anubis! We need a hero strong enough and brave enough to help us!"At that point people were retreating back to their houses and covering their children's ears. Then, very unexpectedly, Zaven stepped forward.
    "I will go save Queen Bandages!" Zaven bellowed.
    "NO!" screamed Almost Human as he lunged forward to capture his waist, his manly tears fell on his bare skin. Zaven shrugged him off with difficulty and started on his way back to the house to collect his things for the long journey. Katt tried to follow Zaven to persuade him to stop but he just walked faster. No-one could stop him now. To many this journey was a fate worse than death. Zaven vowed that he would save the Queen and that nothing would stop him.
    The new day had started, Ra had set the sun in motion and the air was fresh. He picked up his bag and headed for the door where his family was waiting. His mother handed him a bag full of food and his father handed him a scimitar from the invasion of the Spambots when He said, fully erect had fought, however the best gift came from Almost Human, it was his favourite necklace to protect him and to help him remember him. It was made from emeralds, rubies and gold; he put it on straight away so he wouldn't lose it. Before he stepped outside he reapplied his kohl and made sure his scimitar was on tight. He knew it was going to be a long journey but he knew it was right. He opened the door and saw the whole village waiting to say goodbye. He went over to his horse and untethered his bridle from the wooden pole, jumped up on the saddle and waved goodbye to everyone and trotted off toward Sodom. It was a tiring journey; he arrived at his destination in two and a half days. As he trotted toward the extravagant palace two guards stopped him in his tracks.
    "Who are you and why are you here?" the first guard questioned. The second guarded just stood there and looked fierce but Zaven could see right through him.
    "I am Zaven and I am the hero who has come to save Queen Bandages." He declared. Just at that very moment another guard walked up. It was The Big Man, the same one who read out the proclamation three days ago.
    "Its ok, this is the man I was telling you about; he has come to help us." He reassured the guards. The first guard lowered his spear and so did the second, Zaven relaxed his rigid body, he didn't even realise he had tensed up. The guard led Zaven to the royal stables and then on to the Queens' Court where a meeting was being held. In the centre of the table was a piece of papyrus, as Zaven stepped closer he saw the seal of Anubis. It had Anubis in hieroglyphs on it. This would have struck fear into Almost Human if he saw this, Zaven automatically touched his necklace. He missed him so much. Zavens' name was called out so he stepped forward, still touching the necklace, he voiced his plans. He plotted to travel, with six guards, to Duat, to the underworld. There he would fight Anubis and save the Queen. He didn't know how they would win but they would try. The guards decided to leave the next morning so that night Zaven sent a messenger with a letter to Almost Human.
    It said: Dear My sweet Almost Human,
    Tomorrow we leave for Duat, It will take four days to get there. I miss you so much, I just want to see you again. Send my love to Mother and Father, and if I don't come back, please don't grieve for me and don't be alone your whole life, please do find another, I don't want you to be sad.
    With all my love, Zaven
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2011
  2. In the morning, at dawn, Zaven and the five guards leapt up onto their horses and travelled east towards Sinai. It was a long journey and Real Playah died along the way. On the second day one of their horses got really sick and would no longer move. The team medic, the “tit calmer” Qiam, took the horse by the hoof and checked its pulse. Spook blotter, knowing that they may be soon in the presence of a dead being, check the horse’s surrounding area for any signs of aroused apparitions.
    “I can sense them nearby.” Spook blotter proclaimed. “And this horse’s probably going to die soon.” Qiam said solemly as he placed the hoof back on the ground. The rest of the group was saddened by this. Suddenly something on the horizon caught their attention. Two riders were approaching and the wind began to howl. One rode a blapck horse and had a black cloack that covered his face. The other rode a smaller horse that was white and had a red cloak. They stopped their horses in front of Zaven and the others. The one in the black cloak pulled it away from his face and spoke. “What are you doing out here?” He said.
    “We are going to save Queen Bandages.” Said Zaven. “But we’re afraid one of the horses is going to die.”
    The myserious rider looked at the sick horse blankly. He walked over to it’s side, turned it’s back to it and faced the others. In one quick motion, he brought out his arm and struck it down on the horse. The horse immediately jumped back onto it’s hooves, ready to go.
    Spook blotter spoke up. “But what about the ghosts?”
    The man in the red cloak came up and pulled the cloak from his face. He wore a white mask with a hole for each eye and for the mouth. “I can take care of them.” With Spook blotter’s location of the ghosts, he ran around waving his arms at the ghosts until they all were scared and went away.
    Zaven and the guards were amazed. “Wow!” Zaven said. “Who are you two?”
    The man with the black cloak looked at Zaven with a smile and gave a thumbs up. “My name’s Dr. DMX.” The other saddled back into his horse. “And I’m Shyguy.”
    Qiam then stepped up. “We’d be honored if you’d join us to save Queen Bandages, Dr. DMX and Shyguy. Your abilities may come handy.”
    “Okay.” They said. So they joined the group and the continued onward.
    At one point they came to an outcropping of rocks and decided to sit and rest in their shade. As they all sat down one of the guards shot back up and pointed to the ground. There was a scorpion over by where he was. Suddenly a large group of scorpions appeared, coming out of the rocks and the sand around them. There were over a thousand of them, surrounding the group. They got their weapons ready, but were not sure how to go about attacking them. While they were thinking, the heard a strange noise. From out behind the rocks came a man, his hands cupped around his mouth, making the noise. Then, a bunch of snakes appeared, almost as many as the scorpions. They chased them away from Zaven and the others, and chased them back to where they had come from. When they were finished, the snakes left too. The man walked up to the group. “You have to be careful, scorpions can be very territorial.”
    “Who are you?” Zaven asked.
    “I’m Ectocal, local snake summoner.” He said. Zaven told Ectocal of their mission, and he agreed to join them.
    That night the group stopped at an inn to rest. They sat around at various tables, downing drinks and enjoying the uncannily wonderful music. The musician was really good, surprisingly good for such an out of the way bar. As one of the guards, named Nix, was sitting down and enjoying his drink, a man walked up to him with a smirk on his face. “Hey, you’re a man right?” the stranger asked. Nix looked at him, confused. “Why, yes. Why?” The man started to laugh. “Well then why are you dressed looking like a girl, you chucklefuck?” He took Nix’s drink in his own hand and gestured towards him with it. “Well then I guess you don’t need this. Better you leave the drinking to the real men.” Nix frowned. This guy was obviously an asshole. But just as the guy was raising Nix’s cup to his mouth to take a drink, someone punched him in the face, knocking him into the wall. The drink, which had been sent into the air, was then caught in the person’s hand. Nix looked in surprise at the man’s attacker. She was wearing a majestic cape, monocle, top hat, and a mask over her eyes. She placed Nix’s drink back on the table and gave him a smile.
    “Who are you?” He asked her.
    “I’m The Asshole Puncher!” She said with confidence.
    The Big Man had watched the whole thing unfold, and now came up to meet the superhero. Spook blotter suiveled in his chair to face her too. “We are on a mission to rescue Queen Bandages, would you care to join us? The person who kidnapped her is probably an asshole." The Asshole Puncher grinned. “Sure!” She answered. Suddenly, a bespeckaled man approached them. They recognized him as the man who had been playing music at the inn. “Excuse me,” He said. “My name is Traikan. I heard what you were talking about. I could also help you to save Queen Bandages.” He flashed a smile. “Then even write a song about this endeavor.” Traikan was obviously quite talented with music, so the group quickly agreed to let him come along.
    The next morning the group was getting ready to set out when they heard an uproar. Two cloacked men were being chased down the street by angry townsfolk. They turned the corner and saw Zaven and his group. “Please, you have to hide us!” One of them said. “They’re trying to kill us.” The other said. Though they were a little hesistant, they decided to help them. They were mixed in with their ranks by the time the villagers arrived. “Which way did they go?” One asked. “That way.” Zaven said, pointing to the left. The villagers continued past them. The two men breathed a sign of relief. The Big Man looked at them. “What was that about?”
    The first one spoke. “They think I’m the devil, or a servant of the devil. But I’m not. It’s all just because my name’s DevilEd…and I also started some sick fires the other day.” With that, he held out his hand and the group watched in amazement as a ball of fire appeared in it. Then the other spoke. “My name’s Crowbotic, and they think I’m some type of demon because I’m part metal.” He removed his cloak to reveal a strange, inhuman face. It was copper in color, and his eyes were black and yellow. “But I’m not a bad guy, really.” “Me neither.” DevilEd said. “Looks like we have to leave town though.”
    Zaven then spoke up. “Do you want to join us? We’re traveling to Duat to save Queen Bandages.” DevilEd looked at Zaven. “You people saved my life, I’d be more than happy to help.” “Same with me.” Crowbotic said.
    So the group, plus The Asshole Puncher, Traikan, DevilEd, and Crowbotic set out to save the Queen. But it wasn’t long before they came into trouble. In a very narrow pass, their way became blocked by a group of bandits. But they did not attack them, which made the group very confused. Instead, a small black cat wearing a suit and tie walked out in front of them. “My name is Konec.” The cat said. “I’m the boss around here. You have to pay a toll in order to get through.”
    “And if we refuse?” Zaven asked hostily. The cat smiled. “Then you all suffer the consequences.”
    Spook blotter whispered urgently to Qiam. “We should leave here quickly.” She said. “I can sense a lot of spirits in this place, and who knows what will set any of them off.”
    “Surely we can come to a compromise.” Qiam suggested. The cat shook his head. “No. The toll money is needed to keep the orphan kittens in Konecity from starving in the winter.”
    Qiam thought for a moment, then spoke again. “We are on our way to save Queen Bandages. If you help us, I’m sure the Queen would reward you with enough money to save all the kittens in your village.”
    Konec’s tail swished back and forth as he thought. “Okay.” He said. “I’ll go with you.” And with that, he signaled for the bandits to disperse. Zaven and company then continued through the pass, Konec joining their ranks. He also motioned for one of his bandits to come as well.
    “Who is that?” Zaven asked Konec. The cat looked over at the bandit, his eyes red and his hand on the side of his face. “That’s Drinkiepie.” He said. “He may not look it, but he’s my best fighter, especially when he’s drunk. Hey, Drinkiepie, how you doing right now?” Drinkiepie took his hand away from his face and looked at his cat boss. He gave a mumble in reply.
    “Does he have a hangover?” The Big Man asked? Konec shook his head. “No. Hangovers are for the people who stop drinking.”
    Drinkiepie had fallen in line next to Dr. DMX, and asked him in a slurred voice, “You got anything really strong?”
    “No.” Dr. DMX said warily. Drinkiepie shrugged and Dr. DMX watched him take a flask out of his tunic, open it, and drink the entire contents.
    They came to a fork in the pass. The Big Man told them they were to go right, but Konec said they should go left.
    “But the right is the way to Duat.” Zaven said. Konec replied, “But if you want to save the Queen, you’ll need the help of the Swami Swari. He’ll no doubt know something that will help us greatly.” So they took the left path to meet him.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 27, 2011
  3. They found him in a rocky clearing high up in the pass, meditating. While they knew who he was, they were not quite sure what he was. He looked like a dog, but not entirely. “Uh, what are you?” Crowbotic asked. Swari opened his eyes and looked calmly at him. “They said I could become anything, so I became a lobster.” He said plainly.
    Zaven told Swari of their mission and Swari nodded sagely in understanding. “I will help you if you can analyze this proverb: ‘To be a man requires a man to not be a man’.”
    The rest of the group was stumped by this, but thanks to Almost Human, Zaven knew the answer. He told Swari. “It means a real man is his own cheap hooker.” Swari smiled. “You are correct. If you travel east of here you will come across a city that has been lost to the sands of time. Break a glass on the center stone. It will summon one who can help you.”
    It was night when they finally reached the city. Old cracked remains of houses and buildings were buried deep in the sand, in some cases only the top sticking out. When they reached the center stone, over one hundred feet tall, they realized they needed to find a glass. Traikan got an idea and gestured to The Asshole Puncher. She made a sad face. “Not my monocle.” She said sadly. “It’s the only way.” Traikan said. Reluctantly, she handed over her prized monocle to Zaven, who dashed it against the wall. The ground shook, and suddenly a giant being was before them. It was an owl whose body was made up of both flesh and clockpieces.
    “I am Tesseract.” The being said. “You have summoned me.”
    Zaven told Tesseract of their quest. “I will help you.” He said. “If you free me from the curse that confines me here. First you must find the Scope of Devon to seek out the ghosts that make up my prison. To do this, you must-“
    “There’s one!” Spook blotter shouted. Shyguy ran over to where she pointed and chased the ghost away. They did this a few more times until all the ghosts were gone.
    “Now I am free.” Tesseract said. He gave Zaven a strange looking clock and said an incantation. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. If this does occur, call me you must. One twist of the gear, spun fully around, and I will be there, to the clock I am bound.” And with that, Tesseract vanished.
    As they continued onward, they came across another ghost of a city. But this one was much smaller, and did not look as old. The buildings were all still clearly visible. They went inside to investigate, and found a man trying to patch the roof of the largest building. When he saw them he rubbed his eyes to make sure they were real. Then he slid off the roof. “What brings you all the way out here to Esbee? He asked. “We’re going to save Queen Bandages.” Zaven answered. The man looked confused. “Queen Bandages is in trouble? We don’t get much news out here.”
    “We?” The Big Man asked. “There’s other people here?”
    “Yes.” The man answered. “But not many. I’m MayorSB, mayor of this town.” He looked over towards a different house. “I think Triangle Man is in there.”
    “This place looks a little deserted.” DevilEd said. Mayor SB put his hand to his hat. “Well, it’s not much of a town, really. We used to be mercenaries, but business went south. Then we found this abandoned town and thought we’d patch it up. Once it rains and the well fills up again were hoping there’ll be traffic.”
    “Mercenaries, huh?” Drinkiepie said. “You any good?”
    MayorSB smiled. “Hey Triangle Man, could you come out here? We got some guests.”
    A man that they guessed to be Triangle Man appeared from the building, carrying a box. He waved in greeting at the group, then walked over to MayorSB and set the box down. They both reached into the boxes and pulled out a weapon each. Triangle Man held a large disk, while MayorSB had what looked to be a tube with a handle. They both set their sights on a building that was no more than a broken pile of rubble. MayorSB pointed to a plank sticking out of the rubble. Suddenly, there was a bang. A disk shot out of the tube and hit the plank directly, breaking it in two. Triangle Man pointed to a large piece of rock that had been part of the outside. He hurled the blade in it’s direction. Shots rang out as it soared. The disk traveled a good distance, then curved in the air and flew back into Triangle Man’s hands. The rock was now riddled with holes. Drinkiepie gave a look of approval. “Not bad. What’re those things?”
    “Mine’s a beygun, and MayorSB’s got a beybeygun.” Triangle Man answered. “Then we’ve got our secret weapon.”
    “What’s that?” Zaven asked.
    Triangle Man pointed over their heads. They turned around and saw a pumpkin in the street. It hadn’t been there before.
    “Huh.” Zaven said. “A pumpkin.”
    “I’m not a pumpkin.” A voice said, and out of the ground shot a person. The pumpkin appeared to be a hat of some kind.
    MayorSB smiled. “That’s our rogue. Pretty stealthy, quick and deadly.”
    “What’s your name?” It was Hi, I’m KY. Another soldier in the Queen’s guard.
    “I’m NotaPumpkin.” NotaPumpkin said.
    “Uh, yeah, obviously.”
    “What? You knew my name?”
    “No, I don’t.”
    “I just told you!.”
    “Wait, what’s your name?”
    “I’m NotaPumpkin.”
    “I know that!”
    “Then why are you asking?”
    “Because you haven’t told me your name!” Hi, I’m KY gave a sigh. “Look, I’ll start. I’m Hi, I’m KY.”
    “Well nice to meet you, KY.”
    “No, Hi, I’m KY.”
    “…I know, you’re KY.”
    “No! Hi, I’m KY!”
    “And I’m NotaPumpkin.”
    “Well yeah you-“
    “Okay that’s enough!” MayorSB cut in. “That person there’s name is NotaPumpkin. NotaPumpkin, this person’s name is “Hi, I’m KY.”, okay?
    Hi, I’m KY and NotaPumpkin looked at each other for a few seconds before realization dawned on their faces. “Oh, okay.” They said.
    Triangle Man continued. “NotaPumpkin uses Beyweaponry too.
    NotaPumpkin nodded. “The beybeyguns I use are smaller than MayorSB’s, but I dual wield.”
    Zaven then spoke up. “Would you want to help us rescue Queen Bandages?”
    “Sure.” MayorSB answered. “If the price is right.”
    “What are you asking for?” The Big Man asked.
    MayorSB looked around at the town. “Eh, some supplies to help us get started would be nice.”
    The Big Man agreed to their terms, and the three mercenaries joined their group.
    Because it was very hot in the desert, they soon ran out of water. Their spirits rose when they spotted an oasis, but were dropped again when they discovered it to be empty. They were about to leave when they heard a voice speak. “Are you in need of water?” It asked. The group turned around to see a manatee sitting in the middle of what would have been the water of the oasis. The Big Man spoke. “Yes, do you know where we could find some?” The manatee nodded. “I am Inexpediency. This is my oasis. If you wish to drink from it, you must give me something in return.” They offered the manatee many things, but each time she refused. Just as they thought it was hopeless, Nix offered one last thing. “All I have left to offer is this pair of sunglasses.” He said sadly as he held them aloft. The lenses were shaped like stars. At this offer Inexpediency looked up in interest. “Those will do.” She said. Nix placed the shades on Inexpediency’s head. Then, the group rejoiced as, with a flick of her flipper, the oasis magically filled to the brim with water. They drank their fill and filled up their canteens, then said goodbye to a very happy and sunglass-clad Inexpediency as they continued.
  4. Good god I am so sorry for this.

    At midday on the fourth day the arrived at Proboards, the opening to Duat. There was absolutely no-one there, the place was like a ghost town. All of a sudden the earth started to tremble, cracks started to appear in the ground and a deep rumbling growl came from the underworld. The sky was covered with a blanket of gray clouds and lightning bolts flew across the sky and the earth fell from beneath them. They started falling, it seemed like forever before they touched solid ground. It was dark and then all of a sudden torches along the circular walls burst into flames, they all looked at their surroundings and when Zaven looked back a tunnel had appeared and the torches in there lit up too. Zaven led his group down the passage way and when they came to the end they were back in the same circular room or so they thought. They were actually in the Hall of Judgement. Zaven looked around again and when he looked back the tunnel was gone and Anubis was standing right in front of him. The guards, save The Big Man and Nix, screamed and tried to run but there was nowhere to go. One guard was still screaming and with the snap of his finger, Anubis had turned him to dust. The tunnel reappeared and the two guards that were left made a run for it but Zaven couldn't move, he was to shocked to even blink. The Big Man, Nix, Hi, I'm KY, and the other people he’d gathered along the way also stood fast. Anubis waved his arm and the tunnel closed, the two guards were trapped there to die a slow and painful death. Out of nowhere, probably his love for Almost Human, a surge of courage rushed through Zavens' veins.
    "I'm not scared of you."Zaven hissed. He pulled his scimitar out of its sheath and stepped back. The others took out their various weapons. Traikan began to assemble a melody that would assault his ears, and DevilEd formed a fireball in each hand. Anubis pulled his spear into a defensive position. Zaven lunged forward but Anubis hit him out of the way. Zaven touched his back and looked at his hand, it was covered in blood. It was only a small cut but it still stung, Anubis' spear must have poison on it. Zaven didn't care that he was hurt, he kept on fighting.
    They went at Anubis with everything they had. At one point it appeared that he was close to defeat, but then the moon appeared in the sky. Anubis roared as his true potential was unlocked. “Now you all will die.” He said. Ectocal launched at him, a large number of snakes following his lead, but Anubis met his attack with a simple touch of a finger. As soon as it made contact with ectocal’s shoulder, he began to turn to dust. It spread along his body until he became a pile of dust on the ground. Everyone looked in shock, but soon Anubis was attacking again. Before too log, all but Zaven had been reduced to dust. Zaven knew there was no way he could win at the moment. He had an idea.
    "Anubis, I want to make a deal. You can set a course for me with Queen Bandages at the end and if I get to her safely you will let us all go without any trouble!" Zaven yelled while dodging Anubis' swings.
    "And what if I win? What do I get?" Anubis barked sharply.
    " You will get to keep me and the Queen as personal slaves!"Zaven replied strongly. Anubis stopped fighting.
    "OK, it's a deal." He waved his arm to the wall where the tunnel had been and in there was a pile of dust, Zaven knew it was the two guards. Zaven stepped into the tunnel and it closed off behind him, he walked forward and grabbed a torch off the wall, he looked back and could see nothing. He stepped forward to explore some more and came to the end of the tunnel. Zaven was shocked at what he saw, it was a giant serpopard bearing its teeth and snarling. He pulled his scimitar swiftly and smoothly from its sheath hanging from his waist. He charged at the horrifying monster but was knocked out the way so he tried again, this time he plunged the sword into the beasts heart. As soon as the brute lay dead he turned to dust and was blown away. Zaven kept on travelling his trail.
    The next challenge was even worse, it was an enormous griffin. Zaven gripped his weapon even tighter and touched Almost Humans' necklace, he closed his eyes and saw him smiling and happy. The griffin screeched and interrupted his sweet memory. After seeing his one true love a swell of bravery sped through his veins and he swung his trusty sword toward the giant demon and slayed it with one blow. The creature crashed to the ground with a loud thud and turned to a pile of dust. After it was whisked away Zaven kept on marching to meet his third and final obstacle, a double headed bull but this one was enchanted, it could spit fire from its mouth and squirt acid from its eyes. Luckly when Zaven arrived the monstrosity was asleep. He crept closer, quiet as a mouse, to the large fiend. He was one foot away and he plunged his scimitar into the evil varmints' heart, it turned to a powdery cloud and was swept away by the wind. Zaven put his scimitar away safely and started to run toward the screams coming from beyond. The screams got louder so Zaven could tell he was getting closer. He saw the Queen and was bewildered by her beauty but for him no-one was better than his Almost Human. He rushed to her and untied the rope that bound her feet and hands.
    "Thank-you! Thank-you so much!" Bandages cried in a mess of tears and gasps.
    "How are we going to get out!" The Queen screamed still crying.
    "It's ok, I made a deal with Anubis." Zaven explained. And then, quick as a flash, they were on solid ground, above sea level. Zaven was dismayed to see that the dust of his allies now surrounded him and the Queen. As he began to mourn the loss of his friends, he suddenly remembered something. He reached into his pocket and took out the clock Tesseract had given him. He turned the notch all the way around once, and in the blink of an eye Tesseract was before him. Zaven looked with sadness towards the remains of his fallen friends. Tesseract gave a wave of his wing, and the dust rose from the ground. Each pile began to take shape, until his friends all stood before him once again, alive and whole. Tesseract then vanished, and the clock turned to dust. Everyone cheered. They then travelled back to Sodom, Zaven let his Gracious Queen ride on the horse while he walked. They got to their destination in eight days.
    When they arrived in the herculean city everyone started to cheer and shout with humongous smiles on their faces. They walked to the Queen's Court where all of the guards were pleased to see that they were unscathed. The men and women that had joined him along the way were heralded as heroes and treated like royalty. They had a party and after the celebrations Queen Bandages made a marvellous offer.
    "Would you, Zaven, Come live with me at my palace and you can bring your family too." Bandages offered.
    "Why, that would be fabulous. Thank-you, thank-you so much." Zaven choked out quietly. He turned around and headed out the door to make his way home.
    When he got back to his beloved family they celebrated for days and then Zaven broke the news and they started to pack straight away, they left the very next day. Within the next couple of days they arrived at the palace and met the Queen. They were all given their own rooms and they lived happily ever after.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2011
  5. inverted L-block

    inverted L-block Chucklefuck

  6. Yes, definitely put that link here. Y'know what? I think I'll put it in the OP.

    Oh and no problem! I'd be better than separated into four posts.
  7. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    That.
    Was.
    Beautiful in every way.
  8. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    god
    DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN

    Sira that was

    indescribably amazing

    I just can't top that; that was brilliant
  9. ectocal

    ectocal Hapster

    [​IMG]
  10. Aw, thanks guys! I'm really glad you liked it :D

    And that gif. It's making me laugh.
  11. DevilEd

    DevilEd Call me BellaDante

    I am totally going to write a chat fic called "Almost Human get's drunk and punches people in the face"
  12. Traikan

    Traikan I have scales

    I can tell this is a thread I will be visiting many times.
  13. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    and then nobody posted in it ever again
  14. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Says the Chatfic Queen, who has never once pasted her Teen Forumers fics here.
    Besides, I'm still waiting for this one:
    Which I assume will just be my autobiography.
  15. inverted L-block

    inverted L-block Chucklefuck

  16. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Who the hell are all those assholes in your first link?? They certainly don't make me nostalgic. That's for sure.
    :: sniff ::
    And NO, I'm not CRYING! I just...have some good times in my eye.
    :: sniff ::
  17. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    chatfic will be three years old next month

    I think this deserves a party

    or...a chatfic
  18. ectocal

    ectocal Hapster

    You think everything deserves a chatfic

    And you are right EVERY TIME
  19. inexpediency

    inexpediency Ruler of this [CHAT]

    when one of you gets married I'm going to show up and give a speech and the speech will be chatfic
  20. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    That would make it almost worth it to get married.
    And probably make all my dreams come true.

Share This Page